


A Ring for River Song

by BroadwayStarletQueen



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Adventure, F/M, Fluff, Marriage, Relationship Problems, cute bickering, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroadwayStarletQueen/pseuds/BroadwayStarletQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River and the Doctor enjoy a spree of high-adrenaline adventures, but after a mistaken kidnapping mishap, the Doctor realizes he might have to do one of the most daunting and terrifying tasks he's ever faced: put a ring on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Ring for River Song

"RIVER!" the Doctor shouted as he bounded through the TARDIS doors. "River, we've got to hurry. It's a huge social faux pas to not bring a gift to the wedding of a Blogoss! Now, if we hurry," he said quickly as he calibrated the engines, "we can get a statue that the groom might like, but we've only eighty seconds before he—RIVER! Are you listening to me?"

The Doctor swept his gaze around the control room, no sign of his mad wife present. In a huff, he held on to his top hat and ran back out of the TARDIS, mumbling a, "Damn it, River!" on the way.

The TARDIS control room hummed quietly for a minute, enjoying a few seconds of precious silence and peace before the Doctor burst back in, tugging a partially undressed wife behind him and fuming with a bright red face. " _You_  are not supposed to be the wedding present, River!"

The blonde humphed and got to work on lacing her dress up in back. " _I_  wasn't trying to be.  _You_ were the one who giggled— _giggled_ , Doctor—and ran back to the TARDIS while I had to explain to the Supreme Blogoss why we had neglected to bring a gift to his magnificent wedding, and he just reached out a tentacle and said I would suffice as a present. I was going to be a courtesan in a Blogoss harem and you're the angry one?"

"Oh, like you have a real complaint," he said gruffly as the engines started to wheeze, getting them out of the galaxy for a quick escape. "I'm the one who found my wife's dress getting taken off by a glorified octopus! And I paid a lot for that dress!"

"You stole it from Marie Antoinette!"

"I borrowed it!" the Doctor argued, crossing his arms.

River pushed an errant curl out from her eyes. "This wouldn't have happened if I had a wedding ring! At least I'd have somewhat of an excuse not to jump into bed with people if I had some sort of sign that I was already in a relationship!"

"Oh, this is MY fault?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, you idiot!" she fumed. "I really hate you sometimes!"

The couple stood across from each other on the TARDIS console, eyes wide with anger, before bursting out into laughter.

"Oh—oh, my goodness—" the Doctor wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes. "How did that even happen? We actually were chased out of a Blogoss wedding! And you, with the whole harem thing—"

"Yes, it was pretty funny," she giggled. "How do we end up in these spots of trouble?"

"River?" he asked, messing with the stabilizers.

"Yes?"

"You don't hate me." It wasn't a question, more like a confirmation.

River paused, blowing the same curl out of her eyes. "No, I suppose I don't. I suppose I love you, you foolish, embarrassing alien."

He grinned crookedly to himself. "Yeah, you do."

"It would help matters if you put a ring on it," she huffed, "especially since you're married to a kick-ass beauty known all over the galaxy."

"Be serious, River—I'm not married to myself!" he joked, though he added under his breath, "I divorced myself 300 years ago."

"I'm serious. Maybe you should consider it. I mean, it's not like money is any object for you, and I'd like a rock to show the girls."

"What girls?"

"I don't know," River shrugged. "Friends. When I'm getting around to making them."

The Doctor sighed. "I don't know. I kind of like things as they are. Without a label. You know."

River snorted, crossing her arms. "You don't like labels? You introduced me to the Blogoss doorman as, 'Doctor River Song, Daredevil and Adventurer of the Seas of Time, also an Excellent Kisser, I Know This Because She's My Wife, We're Married, Well, Technically She Married a Robot of Me, Hello, I'm the Doctor, What a Nice Sash You Have.' "

The Doctor chuckled. "Haven't we had enough adventure for one day?"

River's eyes gleamed. "Never."

He blew air through his teeth, debating between options. There was a planet the size of a coconut he'd wanted to show her tonight, but what did he know—maybe a hunt for a wedding ring wouldn't be so terrible. It could be fun.

Pulling the engine lever, twirling the whirly-gig, and typing in coordinates, the Doctor smiled triumphantly at River. "Armetrian Ice Caves of 4023, said to be lined with the purest diamond formations in the universe, but the crevice to get inside is impossible to squeeze through by any living creature."

"Can a TARDIS fit through it?"

"A TARDIS is already there." The brakes whirred as the marvelous time machine landed. The Doctor cracked open the door. "Shall we find a diamond?"

River grinned like a star, grabbing his hand. "We shall."

* * *

The TARDIS enjoyed fifteen minutes of golden silence, where the universe wasn't in total danger, before it heard the swelling sound of a hive of some species growling and the fast-paced run of two humanoids before they slammed into the TARDIS doors.

"All right—ten million ice dwarves of Armetria, hell bent on protecting this diamond—do you have a plan, Doctor?" River's muffled voice said outside the blue box.

"Erm—yeah—it's basically, well—"

"DOCTOR! ICE DWARVES!"

"RUN!"

The couple pounded through the TARDIS doors and threw themselves onto the console, slamming buttons and pulling levers to materialize somewhere else. When the TARDIS pulled off for space, they slumped over, out of breath, and considered their options.

"So…ice caves of Armetria…not a likely place to find a diamond for a wedding ring," the Doctor wheezed. "Maybe we should try somewhere else."

"Can we just get a whole ring? I don't want to have to get it made," River coughed, holding her side.

"The idea is, we take it to a jeweler, and he gives us a date to pick it up, which we travel to," the Doctor explained. "Really, River, it's basic time travel. I thought you could have figured it out!"

"Oh, please! I want a ring, sweetie—just a bloody ring to wear around. I could care less how splendid it is, as long as I don't have to be eaten by ice trolls to get it."

The Doctor sighed, trying to stifle the tiniest bit of enjoyment at once again escaping his latest near-death experience, and considered River's specifications. "I think we can try and work with that—it might not quite be legal, but for what I have in mind, it's just borrowing, really."

* * *

" _INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT. REMAIN STILL OR FACE IMMEDIATE VAPORIZATION._ "

River managed to run back to the TARDIS without getting melted by one of the many vaporization lasers, flattening against the door and examining a singed sleeve on her catsuit. "Doctor! If you get yourself all vaporized, I WILL KILL YOU!"

The Doctor ran, squeaking and ducking, to place the stolen artifact back on its perch in the Wing of Precious Jewels of the Royal Family, and turned back to the TARDIS. Grabbing River's hand, he was pulled back into the blue box and off for another piece of the universe while the alarms screeched on.

"Kate—Middleton's—wedding ring?" River gasped. "Queen of the British Empire, Queen Katherine the Beloved, Defender Against the Dexlon-54-Autor Invasion of 2046? We were stealing HER WEDDING RING from the BLOODY BRITISH MUSEUM OF THE MONARCHS?"

"I thought the sapphire would go nicely with your eyes," the Doctor said weakly, slumping against the console. "It's not like we can just go out to some random jeweler and get some tawdry diamond. Do you think I want it going around the universe that I can't get a proper wedding ring for my wife? Think of what the children will say!"

"We don't have any children."

"Of course we don't—I'm talking about the children on different planets who hear this as a bedtime story and listen to the ending: after adventures of fighting for a magical wedding ring, the Doctor and Princess River went to Tiffany's and got a two-carat cut. I'll be a laughingstock!"

River couldn't suppress a smile. " _Princess_  River?"

"Oh—well, I only meant—you know, things gets distorted when they're—translated, you know—into fairy tales."

"Maybe I should start growing my hair out and throw it out my prison window. You could climb it, should you ever feel inclined to rescue me the proper way."

The Doctor closed his eyes and grinned. "Speaking of prison, I think it's time we took you back."

"Oh, no! Come on, sweetie, my finger's still looking rather lonely."

"Maybe it's for the best. Knowing you, you'd destroy the ring trying to add a laser."

"Sweetie, I would never attempt to add it myself. That's what Bernardo's for."

He laughed and flipped a switch on the console, and the whirring TARDIS engines landed the couple back in River's cell. "Home, sweet home."

River stroked the console, looking a little lonesome already. "When will I see you again?"

"Soon. I'll pick you up."

"Indeed." She paused. "Do you want to stay over?"

"Sorry. I have things to do. I'll be back though," he said, walking over to his catsuit-clad wife. Very gently, he kissed her and smiled. "Bye, honey."

She grinned weakly back. "Geronimo?"

"Geronimo."

She laughed and walked out of the TARDIS, already feeling a sense of disappointment as the doors closed behind her and the machine screeched away with her husband inside.

She'd tried to play it cool, but the truth was, she'd actually wanted a ring. Maybe that was silly. A ring wouldn't cement her already fluid marriage. A ring wouldn't make him love her. The only thing a ring could do was give her peace of mind. Comfort.

There were so many holes in their marriage. So many things they missed. She didn't exactly wish they could live a stationary life, with a house and a fence and Time Lord babies spilling out the windows. She just felt like pieces were missing, pieces that she could never have.

River flopped onto her cot, listening to the infamously depressing rain outside Stormcage, trying to guess when the Doctor would return. If she closed her eyes, she could just imagine the whirring sounds of the TARDIS landing back in her cell, the creak of the door snapped open by an alien madman, and the excited call of, "River! Come inside, quickly! I have to show you something!"

She smiled at her daydream and prepared to change back into prison garb.

"River, stop taking your clothes off and get in! I have the most incredible thing to show you!"

"What?" she gasped, spinning around—and finding the Doctor, looking a little disheveled but exactly the same as she'd left him a minute ago, hanging outside the TARDIS doors with an outstretched hand. "Did you forget something?" she asked.

"Yes. But I found it in the fourth closet I looked in—I knew I had it somewhere—and you're about to be very impressed," he said, ushering her in.

"How impressed is very impressed?" she asked, pulling her sleeve back on. "You didn't install the waterbed yet, did you?"

"No, no, no—we are going somewhere wonderful!" he said with glee, grabbing her hand and kissing it. "You wonderful, wonderful woman. I have just the thing. When was the last time I saw you?"

"Three minutes? Two?" Her brows furrowed. "How long has it been for you?"

"Erm, a few days, I think. I haven't been counting. I've just been thinking." He started the engines and moved the TARDIS to some unknown locale.

"Thinking about what?"

"You. Mostly you. You know, it's rather annoying—I never think about people, I think about time, I think about space, I think about things to see. But every time I thought about something, I'd remember that I'd left you. It was really unnerving."

"Well, no harm done. You brought me back. And it seems like you haven't changed out of those clothes in days—I think a shower is due. Maybe for both of us. At the same time."

He laughed, not entirely discrediting the idea. "Maybe some other time. So, I'd had you on my mind—and it's a rather brilliant mind—and I didn't know what to do. And I guess you could say I felt guilty, so I set out to change it. Because the truth is, River, I haven't been a good husband to you."

River laughed out loud. "Is it insanity that I was just thinking about the same thing?"

"Ouch. I'll pretend not to take offense so as to continue my brilliant plan. And part one of the plan is this."

With a flourish, he opened the TARDIS doors.

"Oh, my goodness…" River whispered, completely floored. Slowly she walked down the stairs to the vision in front of her, as the Doctor waited expectantly. "Doctor, it's…it's really…it's just…"

"River Song, speechless. The rarest event in the universe."

"I am definitely impressed, Doctor. I just don't know in what context I'm impressed."

The Doctor gestured to the view. The TARDIS floated serenely through deep space, beeping every once in a while, and before the couple was a marbled blue planet, fixed with clouds and storms of all sorts of purples and blues. Around the planet was a trail of golden stardust and space debris, collected over the millennia as junk but sparkling in the silence of the universe.

"It's Saturn 6. The recreational planet makers made several copies of the Saturn in our universe, but they ran out of business and left lots of planets unsold. However, I did a bit of digging in my fourth closet and found a pamphlet I got for the final days sale they had, and I happen to have a marvelous time machine, so I went back to buy Saturn 6."

"Why did you buy a planet?"

"It's your wedding ring."

She swallowed. "I'm sorry?"

"You know. Saturn's rings? I bought Saturn 6 for you. As if I could buy my wife a normal wedding ring!" he scoffed. "Now, when you look up in the sky from Stormcage, or when you're running for your life without me, or if some ignorant 51st century man starts flirting with you—"

"Why would they be ignorant for wanting to flirt with me?"

"—or—blimey, River Song, sometimes you make it impossible to buy you a present!—or if you ever feel lonely. And it's my fault…that you are. You know you have a wedding ring. It's rather brilliant, too. No other woman in the universe has the same ring as you do."

River shook her head. "This is completely unreal."

"Like you'd be happy with some twinkly little thing from Tiffany's."

"You're right, of course. Well, here's the wedding ring. I think now's the time for a very, very late proposal."

The Doctor's mouth popped open. "What do you mean?"

"We've been married for a while now, but never did I actually hear you pop the question. I think we're due," she said impatiently, crossing her arms.

His eyes widened in something very like terror. This was new. He had, of course, accidentally been married on more than one occasion, and even accidentally proposed to some very famous people. He'd even proposed to River a long time ago, though he wasn't aware that he was doing so. Of course, that was later in her timeline—it hadn't happened yet. At this point, she'd never been asked, and never had he actually proposed to someone with the intention of actually seeking marriage.

"Erm…" he stalled, losing his entire vocabulary.

River raised an eyebrow at him, trying to hide her immense excitement at this prospect; she was about to be the only woman in the world who the Doctor had asked to marry him.

Well, they were already married, of course, but it didn't matter—their entire life together was out of sequence. For all she knew, the Doctor she was with now could be from a future where they'd had fifty Time Lord babies, or even a future where she was dead, and she'd never know exactly. It was all spoilers to her.

But now she had a beautiful ring up in the sky, a ring like no one else's in the world, and she could have this, too.

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Well, ah…well. I suppose I could do that. Propose, I mean."

River waited expectantly as the Doctor stood, rigid, and then tried to bend his knees to sit down, then kneel down, then get down on one knee. "You can take a million Daleks with a conceited grin, but you can't get down on one knee—in front of ME, no less."

"Exactly—it's in front of you, you bloody mad lady. I'd take a Dalek any day to a proposal."

"You know, I think you'd find most men feel the same way in this situation," she smiled. "How human you are."

"Why, thank you," he smiled back, getting a little at ease with the familiar banter. "All right. I can do this."

"You can do this."

"It's simple, really. We're already married."

"Yes, we are."

"Right… Are you sure this is really fair to ask of me, because I already bought you a planet—"

"Doctor."

"Right, sorry." He took a deep breath and looked up at River, who was glowing in the soft blue light of Saturn 6. That made it a little easier. "Erm, River Song?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Would you…do me the honor…of…continuing…being married to me?"

She pretended to consider it. "All right, then. Sure."

"Really?"

"Why not?" she shrugged. "You can get up now."

"Oh, yes! Indeed! I'll do that."

"Yes, you will," she laughed, and she helped him stagger to his feet before pulling him by the lapels in for a kiss.

It was a brilliant kiss, just like the kind the Doctor had witnessed when he crashed into old Hollywood movie shoots. It was passionate and romantic, and above all, easy. He didn't even flail when River first kissed him; he simply closed his eyes and enjoyed it, like their wedding kiss.

"You know," River murmured when she pulled away, "we don't do too badly at this whole marriage thing."

"No, we don't," he said back with a smile. "We should do this again, sometime."

"What? Propose?"

"No, River,  _this_ —" He kissed her again, pulling back after a few seconds to see her reaction (River was flying high). "Though that's not too bad, either. Exposure therapy. Maybe we can get married again, too."

River loved that idea; he could see it in her eyes. "On your home planet? Maybe a real wedding to go with this proposal?"

"Why not? We can do everything a million times. Seven weddings. Nine honeymoons. Thirty proposals."

"Loving the honeymoon idea. We've only been on one—perhaps we can start our second one now?"

He chuckled. "Not this time. When you're looking forward to it. Let's get you home." And with that, he ran over to the console and twisted some knobs, pulling the TARDIS away from River's wedding ring and back to Stormcage.

River rolled her eyes. "Home? Really?"

"Well, cell. Cell, sweet cell. At least you get meals at regular intervals."

"If I was with you, you'd get meals at regular intervals, too. Do you ever eat?"

"Sometimes. When it suits me. Allons-y!" he yelled cheerfully, opening the door for his wife.

River sensed she wouldn't be able to stay with him tonight, so she gracefully exited the TARDIS. Once in her cell, she turned around to face him as he leaned against the blue box's doorway. "Don't make me wait too long, sweetie."

"I won't. I'll be back, soon." He looked down awkwardly. "I'm…going to miss you."

She blinked in surprise. It wasn't that big of a deal for some people, but it was a big deal for them. "I'll miss you, too. I love you."

"See you soon!" he smiled. "And when you're at a bar in some galaxy and some 51st century man checks you out, you can tell him you're married and you have a proper wedding ring."


End file.
